Parenting is Hard… and so is life.

My life is on the roller coaster of ups and downs, yes, I think most of us are permanently on this particular ride.

I have been ill the past week with a cold and I am always more sensitive to moods and emotions when I’m feeling poorly. Money is a huge factor in feeling down and depressed, I think. It’s so stressful worrying about bills and worrying about the things that you can’t get that you want to have or do for others.

So, I have money worries, as we all do. I also got divorced and am still dealing with those emotions… and then there are my girls. I love them dearly. I do, but they have such power over how I feel. What about you and your children? Can they make your day or break it just by how they behave?

The kids were with their father (my x) last week and my older daughter, the tween, wanted to spend a couple of extra days with him. I was totally fine with that and I understand. The second I picked her up yesterday though, there was no, “hi mom, I missed you.” There was only, “Can you take me to the Halloween store to buy my costume?” followed by, “Have you ordered my new phone for my birthday yet?” followed by “It’s going to snow on Friday, I need a new winter coat before then.” And then, “Do you have enough money saved up to buy me my bed?” Literally, one question after another about what she wants.

My x got the childrens’ beds for his place. I have mattresses for the girls but haven’t been able to buy the beds they want. Since they are now sharing a room, I’ve got to buy something that will work within that space. I feel terrible already that they sleep on mattresses so the stress of not having beds for them constantly eats at me.

I was a little hurt that all she said to me in the first hour of being with me was a long string of questions about what I need to get for her. When I said I couldn’t take her to the Halloween store because I didn’t feel well and couldn’t afford her costume stuff right then, her face fell and she pouted, making me feel worse.

Then my boyfriend was upset all day because we had overdrawn in our bank account and had a bank fee. He’s from New Zealand and is just now able to start looking for work in the US. He’s very unhappy with life though. My older daughter and him don’t really get a long, so that’s an entirely different bucket of difficulties I have to deal with.

I have brief periods of depression. Lots of statistics say that I am not alone.

“People have an episode of depression, get well, and may or may not have another episode later in their life. In 2005-2006, in any 2-week period, 5.4% of Americans 12 years of age and older had depression.” From this study.

12 year olds? That’s sad isn’t it? That our children can and do have depression. It’s depressing to even think about!

I found this handy little survey to see if you are depressed. Seems to me most people are prone to be depressed these days.

I used to eat to make myself feel better and I’m really fighting the urge to go down to the cafeteria and have a hot chocolate and a cookie. I don’t need the calories, but I am aching for something to make me feel better.

What do you do to make yourself feel better when life is sucking and you are feeling down and out? I’d love to hear your tips and tricks of things to do to perk yourself up!